Turns out that posting my last entry did help somewhat…Thank you to those who sent me messages of support..I didn’t reply to any of them simply because I didn’t know what to say..As I stated I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back or an “atta boy”. But I do thank you for the kind words.
Everyone has times they’re down..Holidays, tragic events, even rain…My worst times revolve around 2 days. Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day. I’ve never written about this and never even told anyone before but I feel the need to get it out of my head. I don’t know if I’ll make this post live but I just need to get it out..
First, some background.
Continue reading “The Guilt”
So the last few weeks have been busy, chaotic, blah, blah, blah, etc. I’ve not been working out and I’ve been trying to stay with the meal plan but I’ve had little success there.
The conference was a good experience. I decided to take the bike down to Orlando so I took a day off and super-slabbed it down. 10 hours later I checked into a hotel on the Disney grounds (yes, the conference was at Disney). I was so tired I grabbed some pizza and crashed. Apparently I don’t do well being tired and trying to find something healthy. I saw the advert for pizza and the decision was made. The rest of the week saw much of the same. No exercise (aside from walking to and from the parking lot. seriously, it was like half a mile) and I did my best with food choice but I still feel like I failed with that. I took 2 days to ride back and didn’t make good food choices. For as long as I’ve had a bike food has played a bit part. I would base motorcycle rides on finding a dive restaurant or just something different. So as soon as I hit the road I’m on the lookout for interesting food places. I did relegate myself to gas station sandwiches (shut up, I like them), chips and water. I didn’t have any fast food on the way back, instead I picked up food at gas stations and stopped at rest stops along the way.
The last week was spent in a general funk about a lot things, things I’m not getting into here. I used the funk as a “way out”. I worked out once..But half assed. I had a really hard time hitting my calorie intake. Truth be told, I didn’t hit it the entire week. I just wasn’t hungry most of the time, but when I finally did feel hungry I didn’t eat the right things.
In other news, I sold my Jeep last week. I’m 100% two wheels. I was really nervous about it and still am to be honest but it was a good time to sell and now I have no car payment and hope to get my savings up to a good point in the next few months. I felt the need to do something out of character. I’m a very calculating person when it comes to things like that. I think *a lot* about the “what if’s” of a particular action. With selling the Jeep I didn’t do that. So far the sky hasn’t fallen and I seem to be handling the fallout well. Some things are difficult to such as grocery shopping and trying to carry anything that won’t fit in my saddlebags. Those limitations have helped out a bit. Being on the bike makes it really hard to stop for fast food, and very hard to over shop for groceries. I’m still working out the kinks but I do believe that it was a good choice impulsive or not.
This is the part where I say I’m going to get back on track and hit the gym and start hitting my calorie intake with the proper foods, right? But at this point all I can think is what’s the point.